How to be a Villain

text & poster, 2017

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  1. Be born in the wrong place. Be born in the right place. Be an ignorant person in a complicated land, or a complicated person in an ignorant land.

  2. Stand on the wrong side of a window.

  3. Say the wrong thing at dinner. Not as a provocateur, but because maybe there is something a little bit wrong with you, or you are at the wrong table. It is hard to put a finger on.

  4. It is a new time. The ground is shifting, it is going all over the place. Now there are more cameras than eyes and more screens than brains. Now the scenery behind our gestures change in real time, here, or a million miles away. You are a villain in one moment, and in the next, you are a hero. You are a hero in one moment, and in the next, you are a villain.

  5. Even back at your place, with arms folded in and your good sweater on.

  6. Do what is right, it will be wrong somewhere.

  7. Take pride in your wiles, or take credit for your crimes.

  8. Practice being still in an unflattering spotlight—with grace, or develop a nervous tick. Listen, or don’t give. Take in the view. Take pride in your heart or your clothes, or something solid that is always with you.

  9. The movie villains are showing signs of growth. But still at home, at city hall, at the picnic, no one wants to be the villain. Our contemporary science says it can be confusing, lonely and thankless. But if we are going to get anywhere on these shifting waters we must take our turns. You may already be worn out, or you may be amazed at how far one can travel without having to move.

  10. Plot, or don’t argue. Save yourself some time.

  11. Follow your desires and your instincts. If you follow your desires and your instincts, the plot will make more sense.

  12. Keep your knees loose, or work on your center of gravity.

  13. Be generous, or overshoot your game, or say it was your idea—to be in a story that others might tell.

  14. You feel so alone next to everything that is not a part of you, and the others there standing solidly on the ground. But the ground is helping too, the ground is shaking people all around. Everyone unstable on the ground.

  15. Everyone now is learning to stay upright. How often have we all had the same challenge? It’s so rare we mostly just fantasize about it with our zombie apocalypse TV.

  16. And a new challenge met with courage promises a new outcome that might not bore us to tears.


POSTER commissioned and published by Toronto anthology Happy If You Know It (2017) . Edited by Erin Klassen, designed by Jen Spinner.